the Foundations

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Patterns and Predictability

Predictability can be many things. Indistinguishable tastes like cake, kindred language, tone and accents, familiar faces, a recognisable smell, or a place that is called home. People’s behaviours, responses and routines help to form predictability.

The brain likes patterns and routines. It can hand over the processing of information to the unconscious mind so it can get on with other stuff like learning or enjoying the first signs of spring. The brain is a clever piece of kit because it also learns to recognise human responses through repetition. For example, predicting a parent’s mood through their tone of voice or forecasting who is more likely to give out the chocolate – my bet is on the over 60’s!

To enumerate, think of the morning routine. Showering, brushing teeth, getting dressed and eating breakfast are executed with precision. The brain has created an auto-response to the actions to become efficient – not a lot of thinking happens to get these tasks done. Imagine a child completing a morning routine. Their brain would go straight to Paw Patrol and miss out on the tasks altogether. The repetitious prompting from an adult develops a neural pathway as the child’s brain works hard to focus and coordinate motor skills… whilst tempted to watch Paw Patrol. The brain will welcome predictability to build (motor skill) auto-responses permitting it to notice… Paw Patrol. 

Why Children Need Predictability

Many colleagues advise parents to utilise boundaries and routines. A predictable schedule can create a sense of safety and comfort. Without a doubt, predictability begins as a baby. The little one observes their parent’s nuances for familiar nurturing smiles, reassurance, and playfulness, building trust. The child’s unconscious is processing the information whilst the conscious brain is getting on with learning. Prediction builds trust so the child assumes their needs will be met, and so, their brain moves on to be curious, learning all the wonderful things to navigate in their surroundings, grabbing objects, walking, jumping, and going to the loo.

This process continues throughout childhood. Phases of eating baked beans on toast every day or going to their favourite park to eat the same ice cream are predictable. Transitioning to school embraces a therapeutic approach to predictability by including visits to the classroom, meeting the teacher, learning about school rules and sharing something about the family to build connections.

As a side note, adults are exactly the same. Do you have a favourite seat on a bus or a favourite brand of tomato sauce? When you are on a 3-day course – do you sit in the same seat every day? In the office, can you recognise the routines you have developed? You can, can’t you? It’s all about predictability.   

Dr Crittenden’s Attachment Theory

Dr Patricia Crittenden explains when we perceive chaos, we seek predictability. Chaos can be external, like erratic, loud neighbours. It can be internal, like feeling unsure how someone will respond in a situation. 

Something new, for example, visiting a new beach or making a new friend is not chaotic. It’s not predictable either. When we are faced with something new, our brain will want to focus on that, it’ll want to play, curiously trying to work it out. You could think of dating someone as curiously working out if they are the ‘one’. (the uncertainty of a second date if you like someone can be stressful and needs a little comfort from a friend… so come on, let people know your intentions, just saying).

Right, focus Michelle, back to predictability. As you reflect on your sense of predictability, let’s delve into chaos. Something or someone that is erratic, messy and/or creates confusion. Too much ambiguity or uncertainty demonstrates chaos, creating hesitation or caution. The chaos requires constant attention, draining one’s energy. 

Chaos can cause a child to become hypervigilant to prepare for the surprise. It can leave the child feeling unsafe. Learning and development are put on hold to deal with the bedlam, the focus on regaining predictability helps the brain feel safe. A nurturing adult shields a child from such chaos. Primarily, creating a predictable secure base.

A child who faces chaotic adversities may learn to seek predictability in an unhealthy way, such as carrying a weapon or misbehaving in class to join a learning mentor’s homely room. (A learning mentors’ room will feel safe, so it’s a great place for some students. When the student is ready, consider replacing a strategy e.g. how can the classroom meet their needs).

To put into perspective, visualise a house party. There is music, laughter, clattering of cluttery and chitter chatter. There may be a rainbow of flashing lights and the proximity of an array of bodies sitting, dancing, and squeezing past is palpable. The predictability is to expect the party’s chaos and remember it is only when we are distressed with chaos we seek predictability. Some people avoid party’s if its distressing.

What about a busy school corridor? Students call to each other, bumping into smaller students to get by. The flurry of students goes in one direction, and the teacher needs to go in the opposite direction, parting the crowd like the Red Sea. Does the chaotic environment have students’ wits about them due to the unpredictable nature until it becomes the norm – until students find some (hopefully healthy) predictable behaviours to survive the corridor?

Our Perception of Predictability

Change happens all the time, and it can leave a sense of uncertainty. For some people, change is stressful and will seek predictability to reduce feeling distressed. 

Dr Crittenden describes a person’s perception as imperative. Genetics, personality and experiences shape a person’s perception. They can’t be wrong when they feel uneasy, threatened, or in danger because it is their perception. We feel how we feel.

Children have little control over decisions that impact themselves. Parents decide when to remove the dummy, time to potty train or bedtime. They spend hours upon hours, persuading, imposing, or influencing a change in a routine or habit. From the child’s perspective, this can feel chaotic and is why children need predictability. From a child’s perspective, removing a dummy is removing their comfort. Replacing the sense of comfort with something else, like a favourite character duvet set helps that transition.

Let us look at this through the lens of school. The education authority decides what the curriculum covers, the school chooses the values and culture through policies and procedures, and educators control the classroom environment. All these responsibilities are to support all the students and to create a nurturing environment. 

Warning – this may trigger a few colleagues… I wonder what the child’s perspective is seeing their name on a behaviour chart on a wall for everyone to see. The intention is not to trigger any colleagues as you read this as managing behaviour is complex. The intention is to consider if a competency chart was on an office wall – would that help or hinder colleagues? Would that be shame-sensitive or shame-inducing? 

Change is uncertain, complex and unclear and will take time. Encouraging the thinking brain, playfully, when it’s not in distress, reduces the risk of triggering a sense of threat/danger response.   

Consistency

Another great way to support predictability is to be consistent. Supernannies, parent gurus and behaviour support programmes believe a consistent approach will help children. Consistency helps to anticipate actions or responses, creating a sense of security.

Generally speaking, food requires a consistent approach. Back in the day, humans survived by being cautious. Before science, humans relied on their senses and families to choose safe food. That innate legacy is endorsed when children take up to 20 times before accepting a new food. Consistently, adding new food to a plate can feel wasteful at the beginning and will get better over time. (Funny how it doesn’t take 20 times to accept sweets, however, it takes time before cucumber or broccoli becomes a newfound friend!)

We call some children fussy eaters, which, to be honest, might be just that…or it could mean they have found their predictable food. You know what you get with sausage and mash, every time. Not all green veg tastes the same, so there is hesitation in trying the nutritional food (that some adults hide under their mash remains).

A Predictable Response

Adult’s response forms predictable behaviours that children learn to understand and feel safe. When the family is experiencing a change in routine, the adult’s predictable caring response will be the safety net for the child’s needs. A behavioural or language pattern is recognisable, it’s the norm, and therefore reduces the worry or can be tolerated.

When the child is feeling distressed and reacting in a fight, flight, or freeze way, the adult’s predictable calming and soothing responses will help to deactivate their stress reactions. For example, a toddler is screaming and throwing objects, a child is shouting and hiding, and a teenager silently thumps the wall and stares ahead. Adults who consistently focus on validating feelings, using co-regulation, and soothing techniques rather than focusing on challenging (distress) behaviours will see calming results.

Parents and influential adults are crucial in role-modelling how to deal with emotions and situations. In short, it is really hard work if you’re feeling exhausted, or stressed, or it doesn’t come naturally to role-model healthy ways to respond to feelings and situations. Most parents and colleagues have hollered, looked stern, felt tense, snapped, and lost their patience and why self-care is necessary. Being in top form helps in those exasperating moments so it might mean learning new coping strategies and having time for yourself is re-prioritised.

How To Be Predictable

• Predictability means attending to a child’s emotional needs. Validate how they feel, encourage them to problem solve and they totally know you will always have time for them.
• Explain and prepare children when going somewhere or meeting someone new. Try to show confidence and feel relaxed so they can feed off your mood if needed.
• Create visual prompts or schedules if they help.
• Eliminate a power struggle through routines. It can be challenging to form routines for everything, but worth considering what can help.
• Plan time to build and strengthen relationships with children to learn those predictable mannerisms we all have. 
• Humans are wired for physical touch; it starts with a cuddle, rub and cradle as soon as possible with a newborn baby, and it doesn’t go away (unless touch is triggering due to being neurodiverse or experienced adversity or trauma). Oxytocin is released in response to low-intensity skin stimulation such as touch, stroking and warm temperature so it is worth considering a predictable approach, especially when chaos is erupting.  
• Create consistency by the adults working together to communicate the same messages.
• In the morning, take a moment to say, “good morning” and “I’m happy to see you”. Schools could adopt Restorative Practice and include community-building circles.
• Travelling home from nursery or education setting, reconnect and listen to what their day was like.
• Evenings can be chaotic, rushing about – cleaning up, re-setting for the next day and making time for oneself. Take the bedtime routine as an opportunity to slow things down. Bath, book, drink (snack) is prime time to create predictability.

So, there we have it. Why children need predictability is one of the four functions that build secure attachment: safety, comfort, proximity, and predictability.

Michelle x (I’m off to wash the pots)